Introduction

Marriage is hard. There is no way around that fact. There are always going to be high moments and low moments. The key is getting through those low moments together.

Most people, when they get married,  want their marriage to last forever (I hope so at least!). That is a worthy goal, and one that I believe is possible if both spouses truly want it to happen. However, with divorce rates being reported at around 40-50% of all marriages, I can see why it is hard for some to be optimistic about the chances of their marriage succeeding.

My wife and I have been married for almost 7 years now, and of course we have had our ups and downs. I doubt that there are any couples that haven’t. Nevertheless, we are still together and we still love each other and try to express that to each other as often as possible. Although I am no expert on marriage or family relations, I have learned a lot in the past 7 years, which is what leads me to this list of 5 ways to revive your marriage. Even if you feel like your marriage is strong now, there are always ways to improve it and to make it stronger.

As a disclaimer, I know that every marriage is different. I know that it may be hard to do all of these things, all the time. I know that there are things that work for some marriages that don’t work for everyone. With all of that said, I believe that you if are having problems in your marriage, doing any (or all) of these five things, will help you improve, or even save, your marriage.

In sum, if you want to revive any aspect of your marriage, you should do these of these 5 things!

#1 – Don’t Put Your Needs Before Those Of Your Spouse

The first way to revive your marriage is to not put your needs before those of your spouse. Being in a marriage requires love, devotion, selflessness, and sacrifice. There are going to be times where you know that there is something that your spouse needs or wants, but that may conflict with what you need or want in that moment. When that happens, if you both dig in your heels and are unwilling to compromise, inevitably it will create stress on your marriage.

I’m not trying to say that you always have to give in, and you always have to do what your spouse says. However, if both of you are really focusing on your spouse’s needs and wants rather than on your won, I truly believe that you will find an equilibrium and be able to compromise as much as possible. When your spouse sees, and truly knows, that you care about their needs, they will more than likely reciprocate and you will know that they care about yours too.

So how can you tell if you are putting your needs before those of your spouse? Here are two very similar examples. These may seem small or petty, but sometimes those can turn into the biggest issues.

• There is a big football game that you (husband) want to watch this weekend, but  your wife had already planned a girls night out and  needs you to watch the kids. You refuse and go out to watch the game anyway, leaving your wife to figure something out with the kids. Compromise –  You talk to each other and get a babysitter, or you figure out a way to watch the game somewhere that you can watch the kids. Maybe you can DVR the game and watch it later?
• You (wife) plan a girls night out at the last minute, but your husband has been planning to watch a big football game with his dad for weeks. You shut down and refuse to change your plans, leaving him with the kids and with the need to cancel with his dad. Compromise – same as above. The key is to talk and figure it out together.

While the above example may not seem like a big deal, pretty much every marital problem can fall into this category of putting your needs before those of your spouse. Some of the big causes of marital strife and divorce are infidelity, pornography, and financial issues. It doesn’t require too much imagination to figure out how each of these can begin by putting your needs first.

#2 – Be Open And Transparent About Your Finances

Finances can be the root of a lot of arguments and disagreements in a marriage. You don’t have to be a marriage expert to know why. As bad as it may sound, so many things in life require money. It seems like every time you turn around there is another bill in the mail or an emergency that you weren’t expecting – and all of that is on top of the monthly bills and everything else that you have to pay already!

While it is true that money can’t buy everything, and that money alone won’t make you happy, it can make some things easier in life.

For many people you can’t control how much money you make or how many bills you have – there are a lot of unknowns in life and factors that we can’t do anything about. You can, however, control how you choose to communicate about money and those other unknowns in life with your spouse. From my own personal experience and what I have seen in others, not being transparent about these issues can only cause problems.

For example, lets say that you (husband or wife) are the main provider for the family. You make the money, you pay the bills, and you know all of the details about all of your accounts. Now lets say that your spouse doesn’t know anything about your finances – how much you make, how much you have to pay each month in bills, how much you are saving, etc. So what happens when your spouse thinks that everything is going great, and all of a sudden he or she wants to buy something expensive that was not in the budget. Now, if everything really is fine and there is enough to cover it, this may not be an issue. If, on the other hand, things aren’t great and you don’t have enough to cover the expense, what do you do? I can tell you that if you just get mad and say no without explaining why or being transparent, things could get ugly fast.

The better way to handle this, in my opinion, is for both spouses to have, at the very least, a general idea of your family’s financial situation. There is nothing wrong with one spouse making the money, paying the bills, handling the accounts, etc., but that doesn’t mean that the other spouse shouldn’t at least know how much money the other makes. This likely will not solve all financial arguments or disagreements that you might have, but I do believe that it can solve many.

Even if one spouse takes care of most of the finances, you both should agree on the budget and be dedicated to making sure that it works!

#3 – Never Go To Bed Angry (Or, In General, Leave Issues Unresolved)

One of the first pieces of advice that my wife and I received was to never go to bed angry. This advice has proved to be invaluable. I know that other people think that “sleeping it off” is the better way to resolve an argument. I have to say that there have been very few times that we do go to bed without talking through an argument. When we have, it isn’t resolved in the morning and we have to end up talking about it anyway. Because of that, we always try to talk about anything that is bothering us before we go to bed. There have been times when we don’t even want to talk to each other for a few minutes, but in the end we always work it out (and usually end up laughing about it) by talking through it.

In general holding a grudge against your spouse is a recipe for disaster. There are two quotes that I have heard that really explain it well – the first I remember hearing, but I am not sure who it is originally attributed to, and it says, “holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” The other is from Tim McGraw’s song, “Humble and Kind.” In one part of the song, he says “Don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why, bitterness keeps you from flyin’, always stay humble and kind.” It is true – if you are bitter or holding a grudge, it will not allow you to elevate your marriage to a higher level and make it better.

This is one that will come up often in your marriage – if you want your marriage to last, do not leave issues unresolved and try not to go to bed angry as often as possible.

#4 – Go On Dates On A Regular Basis

Chances are that when you were dating, you were actually going on dates. Quite the concept, right? Chances also are that after a couple years of marriage (or less) you are used to the standard routine of work, school, sleep, etc. If you have kids, you may feel like you don’t have time to spend with your spouse and even if you did, who is going to watch them?

This one is tough and my wife and I definitely don’t go on as many dates as we would like to. It seems like the weeks come and go and between all of our own activities and those of our kids, we have a hard time fitting in dates. When we do go on dates, we are always able to reconnect and relax, taking a break from the normal routine. I fully believe that going on regular dates can save and/or strengthen a marriage.

So how do you do it? Well, make it a priority. Start out with a goal to go on at least one date per month. Once you have that down, try to go once every two weeks, and so forth until you are able to go out at least once a week.

Now a date doesn’t have to be anything fancy – I would define a date as really anything that you can do together, as a couple, in an environment where you are able to talk. Even if that talking only happens in the car on your way to a movie and afterwards.

10 Ideas for Date Night

1. Dinner and Movie – a classic, but still a good one.
2. Picnic in the park
3. Couples massage
4. Doing a volunteer project together
5. Go to an amusement park
6. Get together with a group of couples and play this Who Dunit? Group Mystery Date Night
7. Go to the Zoo
8. Go to a sporting event that you both enjoy
9. Play miniature golf
10. Go bowling

If you want to mix it up a bit, you might want to buy this Year of Dates Binder which includes 12 “done-for-you” date nights!

#5 – Do The “Little Things”

During the dating and honeymoon stages, it is normal to want to try to impress your significant other. Maybe you are leaving them notes, buying them flowers, picking them up for surprise dates, and more. These acts may be small, but they make a huge difference, because they show your spouse that you are thinking about them and that you want them to feel special.

As the months and years go on, it can be easy to forget about doing these little things. With work, kids, cleaning, activities, and more, it can feel overwhelming to do anything other than come home and relax before going to bed. While it may be common to forget about doing these little things, it is something that can definitely contribute to the downfall of a marriage. It may not be the main cause, but it can contribute to it and can create a gap between you and your spouse.

I truly believe that doing the little things on a regular basis can help strengthen, and even save, a marriage. Think about all of the time that you spend on your phone, surfing the internet, or just doing things that are not as important as your marriage! Doing something small to show your spouse that you are thinking about them, and that you love them, doesn’t have to take long at all. It can be as simple as writing a note and leaving it where you know they will find it during the day. It can be buying them flowers on a day other than Mother’s Day.

It can be coming home from work and taking the kids for a while so that he or she can rest. Since you are probably going to be using your smartphone most of the day anyway, you can even just try to send a special text message every day. If you need some idea starters, check out these 365 Love Text Messages which you can get for $3.65.

Whatever you do, make sure that it comes from your heart and that it is something that will really show them how much you care.

If you have fallen out of the habit of doing these things, your spouse may think it is odd when you start doing it again – they might even be suspicious –  but as it becomes something that you do on a regular basis, he or she will hopefully be able to see how much you care and that could make all the difference!

Here are a couple of other inexpensive digital products that you can purchase to help you out with this important aspect of a healthy marriage.

1. Sexy Sticky Notes
2. Printable Love Sticky Notes
3. Open When … Letters
4. Love Text Messages 2.0
5. Love Letters of the Month

 Conclusion

Anyone who tells you that marriage is easy probably hasn’t been married. There will always be good days and bad days. The secret is learning how to work through the bad ones and to make the most of the good ones. Not doing one of the things on this list may not mean that your marriage is going to fail, but not doing any of them may. No one is perfect, and there may be stages of your marriage where you aren’t doing the best that you can. When that happens, evaluate the areas where you need to improve, and make the effort to do so. It will be worth it to you and your spouse.

I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.

The post 5 Ways To Revive Your Marriage appeared first on My Latina Table.

I want to start this article out by saying that I really like to spend money. Unfortunately, in order to spend money, you have to make it and save it! In our personal situation, we are not poor, but we also aren’t rich – but sometimes I like to spend like I am. I love to have new clothes and shoes, and to go out to eat for dinner every once in a while. I usually don’t feel too bad about it, because my husband and I set a monthly budget and we try hard to stick to it. That said, I always like to have little bit extra so that I can treat myself or my family every once in a while. So now you may be asking – what do you do to have that extra money? In this article I hope to show you how to save hundreds of dollars per year and how that can allow you to stock up on essential products that your family needs!

I am definitely not an expert, but these tips really have helped me to save hundreds of dollars, so I feel like it is my obligation to share them with all of you as well.

Here in the United State we have so many tools at our disposal to save money, such as coupons and apps on our phones. In other parts of the World, like Mexico where I am from, these tools are not available. While most of this article will focus on the tools that we have here in the United States, there are some other tips that can be applied in any part of the World.

For some background, a few short years ago my husband was in law school, and because he was only working part time, our budget was pretty tight. I was determined to stay at home with my young children, but at the same time I felt like I wasn’t contributing or helping us to have enough money. That is when I started looking into ways to save money. I started learning how to use coupons and after a couple of months I was able to see the results. Now, I have to say – couponing can be addictive. I know people that buy tons of things that they will never use, which can be counterproductive – no matter how cheap something is, if you keep buying things that you don’t need it’s hard to say that you are saving money!

I hope that these tips and tricks can help you, and that you are able to not only have a little bit extra to spend, but that you are able to save hundreds of dollars per year as well.

Be Persistent (aka don’t give up!)

When you start using coupons or doing anything else to save money, it can be very easy to get discouraged. It is so important push through the hard, stressful times, because it will be worth it in the end.

To illustrate this point, I want to share a personal experience. When I had only recently arrived in the United States in 2010, my husband was still doing his undergrad, and our budget was pretty tight. Luckily for me, one of my sisters-in-law lived right around the corner from us, so we got to spend a lot of time together. At that time, she introduced me to couponing. She would always tell us how she was saving lots of money. One day she told us about a great deal that she got at Rite-Aid on diapers. She explained it to me perfectly, and I wrote it down and excitedly told my husband that we had to go that day. Well, we got to Rite-Aid, found the diapers, and thought we were doing everything right. When we got to the cash register and paid, the amount that came up was about 5 times as much as what my sister-in-law had paid. Since I was still new to couponing, I didn’t know what I had done wrong, so instead of questioning the total, we quietly paid and walked out – feeling discouraged.

It took me four years before I decided to pick up a coupon again after that experience, and that is a huge regret.

When I started again in 2014, I had some very discouraging experiences – from my coupons not working, to having extremely rude cashiers, and more. My husband always encouraged me to keep on pushing forward, and as I did I learned more and I couldn’t be happier now that I have seen the results.

So, when you feel like giving up – DON’T!

Use All Available Sources to Find Coupons

You may be surprised to find out that there are many places that you can find coupons. If you are only using coupons from one source, then you are missing out! You can find coupons online, in the newspaper, in the mail, in stores, and by signing up for certain programs. Here are a few sources that I use every week.

1. Local Newspaper – everywhere that I have lived has had a local newspaper that you can subscribe to. They all have had at least 1-3 coupon inserts in every Sunday, Wednesday, and Thursday edition. The inserts are usually from Red Plum, P&G, and SmartSource. You should be able to get a subscription for those days only for less than $20 per month. You will also find that you won’t always want all of the coupons because they aren’t useful for you, so what I usually do is look up what coupons will be arriving (as I will discuss later) and only buying the newspaper at a convenience store on the days that I know I will need the coupons. That has saved me from having to get a subscription.
2. Online Coupon Websites – There are quite a few websites online where you can search for manufacturer coupons for specific products, and print them off. Usually you have to download and install a special “coupon printer” that allows you to print them off, but it is free and only takes a few minutes. These are some of my favorite sites: redplum.com, www.smartsource.com, and  www.coupons.com.
3. Specific Products Websites – Many brands like to promote their products by offering exclusive coupons on their website or social media pages. Sometimes they will require that you sign up on their website, or play a game, watch a video, or something else. Whatever it is, it usually is pretty simple and is a great way to multiple your savings, so keep your eyes open for these opportunities on your favorite brands’ social media pages.
4. Store Specific Websites – Many stores offer their own coupons that you can use together with manufacturer coupons. For example, you can go to coupons.target.com and you can find both manufacturer coupons and other coupons that you can only use at Target. Make sure you read what the coupon says, because sometimes the stores will put their logo on it, but they are actually manufacturer coupons that you can use anywhere. If it says “store coupon” or something similar instead of “manufacturer coupon” then you will know. Some other stores, like Kroger, will send you special coupons directly to your house if you join their club or sign up for pharmacy points. For example, Kroger and Kroger affiliates have digital coupons that you can load directly onto your loyalty card and they will automatically take the discount off when you purchase the corresponding product!

Coupon Planning and Organization

While just finding occasional coupons that you can use on your daily or weekly shopping trips can save some money, you will multiply your savings by a lot by taking some time each week to organize your coupons and plan out a coupon strategy.

1. Organization

There are many ways to organize your coupons. Some people like to have a large notebook, separated out by coupon type. You can use any three ring binder that you have, but you will probably want to add sleeves to it, like the ones that you can use for baseball cards. They even have some online that you can buy that are made specifically for coupons, like this one. While there is nothing wrong with this method of organizing coupons, it isn’t always the most convenient option, which is why I chose another method. I have seen many people that take their whole binder to the store and they pull it out and struggle to look through all of the pages to find the right coupons. That may work for some, but I prefer not to carry something so big with me all the time.

I prefer to organize my coupons at home into different categories, and then I create a labeled envelope for each. Some examples of the labels I use are: Laundry, Frozen Food, Dairy, Personal Care, etc. After I have the envelopes ready, I put the corresponding coupons in each one and I put them in a small bag that easily fits inside my purse so that I can take them out easily and I can find what I am looking for quickly.

No matter what way you decide to organize your coupons, it is important to do it. If you know exactly where your coupons are when you get to the store it will make it much easier to make sure you are getting the best deals.

2. Planning

One of the most important parts about using coupons to save money is knowing what coupons to use, how you can combine them with sales, and when is the best time to use them. The best way to plan is to figure out what stores are having sales, and then determining what coupons you can use to save even more off of the sales price.

While it is possible to go through all of the local store ads, and then manually look through your coupons, there are other resources online that do that work for you! My favorite website to find out what coupons to combine with what sales is www.thekrazycouponlady.com. This site is great, because you can search for the specific stores that you have in your area and they have already done most of the research. This is also the site that I check to find out what coupons will be coming in the following weeks’ newspaper. Their posts will also usually tell you the specific coupons that you need to use and what deals to combine them with to get the most savings. The great thing is that sometimes different stores have even better deals going on in your specific area, so you end up saving even more than you expected.

Another way to plan is to go to the clearance section of your favorite stores, and write down any specific products that you see there that you want. Then, when you get home you can check your coupons to see if there are any that you can combine with the clearance prices – I have ended up with many free products using this strategy!

Use Coupon Apps to Multiply Your Savings

When I started using coupons to save, I was pretty much limited to paper coupons that I could print off or cut out of the newspaper. However, a few months later I learned about an amazing app for my phone called Ibotta. This is how it works

• Sign up for an account and then download the app;
• Unlock rebates (watching videos, reading about the products, etc.)
• Go to the store and buy the products that have a rebate;
• When you get home, upload a picture of your receipt and scan the products;
• Wait for the rebate to be approved and added to your account.

Once you accumulate $20, you can have them pay you via PayPal or Venmo. Trust me, it doesn’t take long to get to that threshold! As you can see, I have received hundreds of dollars in rebates in the time that I have been using this app.

There are other apps too that work almost the same way. Some of my favorites are:

• Checkout51
• SavingStar
• Mobisave
• Snap by Groupon
• Shopmium – (use code YKFUKCWE)

The great thing is that you can combine savings by submitting the same receipt in different applications. For example, sometimes Ibotta will have a rebate for $.50, Checkout 51 will have a rebate for $.75 and Mobisave will have a rebate for $1.00 – all for the same product. If you submit your receipt on all three you will end up saving $2.15! Just make sure that you don’t try to submit the same receipt in the same app (even on different accounts), because that is not permitted.

One thing that I love about these apps is that most of them offer rebates on products that you are buying anyway, like bread, milk, eggs, etc.

Lastly, I love to combine these rebates with other sales, paper coupons, and for products that are on clearance. Many times you will end up paying next to nothing (or literally nothing) for these products.

Other Tips to Save Hundreds of Dollars 

I have saved hundreds of dollars using the above strategies, but now I want to end by sharing some other practical tips that will help you have a better, less stress-inducing experience.

1. Create a meal plan every week

This one has been hard for me, but whenever I do it, I end up spending less on groceries. You should start by planning out every meal that you are going to make during the week. Next, make a        list of the ingredients that you will need to make them. Finally, go to the store and stick to your list. This will help you avoid buying products that you don’t need. Of course you can always buy          a few extras, but this is a great place to start.

There are some good meal planners that you can buy that will help you stay organized and that will help you plan out your meals every week. This is the one that I use: Weekly Meal Planner.

2. Don’t go to the Store Hungry

This may seem kind of silly, but it really does make a difference! I find that when I go to the store without eating, everything looks delicious and I end up buying things that I wouldn’t have               otherwise. If you follow my first tip above and are able to stick to your list, that will help too. You can avoid going to the store hungry by eating a small snack or a meal right before going to                 the store.

3. Try to Avoid Taking Your Young Kids To The Store During Nap-Time

Pretty much every mom I know can understand this. We love our kids very much, but there is something about taking them to the store that flips a switch within them that makes everything            more difficult. It is not always possible to go to the store without your kids, especially when they are not in school yet, but if at all possible, try to go when they have a full stomach and have                already taken their nap.

If you know that your child is having a hard day and has been crying or fighting all day, it might be best to put off your trip to the store until they have calmed down or until they can stay                    home. If you are only going for a few things, it isn’t such a big deal, but if you are planning on doing coupons and spending a lot of time, this advice should be helpful!

Concluding Thoughts

It can be a little bit overwhelming when you start using coupons on a regular basis, so I hope that these strategies will help you. There were many times when I wanted to give up, but now that I have seen the results, I am so glad that I didn’t. It feels so good to be able to contribute to the financial security of my family in whatever way that I can. I hope that you have enjoyed this article, and I would love to hear any and all tips that you have as well – please share them in the comments below!

The post How to Save Hundreds of Dollars Per Year (Coupon Strategies for Beginners) appeared first on My Latina Table.